Entries tagged with m: tfln

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes that it was a bad idea

02. Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity

03. I didn't think I'd get a concussion that easily to be honest

04. I am the drunkest girl in the tree.

05. [Choose your own adventure.]

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. I am not morally bankrupt. We’re just having a moral recession.

02. You haven’t responded to any of the memes I’ve sent.

03. You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures

04. Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people

05. [Choose your own adventure.]

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!

02. Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.

03. On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be?

04. Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"

05. [img]

06. [Choose your own adventure.]

Entry tags:

tfln

1. in my defence, you are comically easy to bribe.

2. None of what you just said was coherent.

3. if you ever feel safe, please remember that I'm out there.

4. The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted “do not consume alcohol” while on my painkillers.

5. I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing a knife. It was at my brother, I don't know why they were mad. I know him.

6. [Choose your own adventure]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. it was the kind of night you break several bones and say you were lucky

02. Those words don't go together.

03. Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.

04. Oh my god you tripped and fell flat on your face. There was no "bar fight".

05. I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing ... but I'm leaning toward good

06. [Choose your own adventure!]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. and then apparently I said "and NOW i can feel feelings and they hurt" before passing out.

02. Grab a basket, we're putting a chicken in someone's house.

03. honestly i don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'oh yeah, that's a great idea.'

04. He's drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. Should I stop him?

05. do you think "i am going to murder and serve you for dinner if you keep annoying me" is unprofessional?

06. [Choose your own adventure!]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. He gave up on mugging us when we wouldn't stop laughing. Rickon was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.

02. I did not pay anyone not to make fun of you.

03. READ @ 2:20AM

04. There are sixteen boxes of donuts in the living room.

05. i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage.

06. [Choose your own adventure.]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. He went in to kiss me so I punched him in the face. Duh.

02. I'm not sure what happened last night...I do remember the police calling me to find out where I was because apparently at some point I went missing?

03. I'll just distract him with tacos and porn.

04. You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration.

05. Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.

06. [Choose your own adventure.]

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.

02. i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage.

03. I refuse to agree it's a bad thing when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar

04. i mean quite honestly i would've boned you the day we met

05. He gave up on mugging us when we wouldn't stop laughing. Rickon was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.

06. [Choose your own adventure.]

Entry tags:

tfln

1. They're call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.

2. If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn

3. I like being sick. Whatever the doctor gave me is awesome. The walls are waving at me. I never wanna get better.

4. [Choose your own adventure.]

Entry tags:

tfln

1. It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested

2. I'm tired of fake friends who refuse to leave me unsupervised in the vicinity of a catapult.

3. No, I'm really going to need you to come back with all your limbs intact. Do what you have to do to make sure that happens.

4. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later

5. Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.

6. [Choose your own adventure!]

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. He said "fight me" and I obliged. I don't know why you're so surprised.

02. My advice? Be civil, be professional, be courteous, and have a plan to kill everyone in the room.

03. They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of the bar

04. We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.

05. Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.

06. [Choose your own adventure.]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap

02. if you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? it's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. and who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?

03. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.

04. Why did my mother make you get naked?

05. I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.

06. [Choose your own adventure.]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. There's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle and a broken heart, and so much wine. Should I start a fight?

02. "I expected better from you." Well that was your first mistake, wasn't it, and I've got nothing to do with that.

03. I'm sober enough to know I'm texting you and drunk enough to not care what I'm saying.

04. We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building.

05. Challenge accepted.

06. [Choose your own adventure.]

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow

02. I still maintain he broke his own jaw.

03. well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT

04. I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.

05. In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”

06. [Choose your own adventure.]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever

02. I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. I thought you were going to shiver out of your skin.

03. It took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.

04. Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.

05. I still maintain he broke his own jaw.

06. [Choose your own adventure.]

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. I have no recollection of that. You must be mistaken.

02. I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. I thought you were going to shiver out of your skin.

03. Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?

04. I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.

05. It's just not the same if you're not here to lend a helping hand.

06. [Choose your own adventure.]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.

02. He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.

03. We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.

04. if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower.

05.
Thanks for bringing me home and putting me in my bed. The pillow fort you built around me is also appreciated.

06. [Choose your own adventure.]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. the good news is the bleeding stopped. i think i'm going to sober up before i tell you the bad news though.

02. I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.

03. We're playing family charades. My sister pointed at me. I won't tell you what everyone's guesses were.

04. It worries me when I'm the responsible one.

05. As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.

06. [Choose your own adventure.]

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.

02. I fail to see how that’s relevant to the current situation.

03. I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't die"

04. The paramedic just looked at me and said "You again?"

05. I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bar again

06. [Choose your own adventure.]

[ooc: Feel free to insert your own location for 5. I almost changed it 'library,' personally.]