2019
[Part 01]

01/18 | tfln | I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes ‘there goes the Scotch Girl.” I have ZERO idea who he is but I’m definitely the Scotch Girl. 01/25 | tfln | I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY. 01/27 | scene | like a screen door in a hurricane 02/01 | tfln | they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know. 02/08 | tfln | Surely you can't blame ME for that. 02/08 | tfln | We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home." 02/12 | sexting meme | Do you want a pic of your fwb? Press 1 for yes, press 2 for no 02/18 | midnight texts | poasdiawoi 02/20 | sexting meme | Hey you know how you hate all those fancy events you have to go to? 03/01 | tfln | Mom found out. Explosion imminent. 03/05 | sexting meme | Thinking of you Which is kinda inconvenient 03/08 | tfln | im on a boat 03/15 | tfln | [Image] 03/17 | injury meme | why go rhino themed at that point? 03/18 | midnight texts | are you sleeping? or were you sleeping potentially if you were you can ignore this 03/22 | tfln | wait you like me?? for my personality?? 03/22 | tfln | Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything. 03/23 | sick day meme | ...I'm not sure you have enough stuff. 03/24 | gen texts | since you invited me to your fancy event... 03/29 | tfln | "Go to hell" is so abstract. "Get trapped in a porta potty for 67 months." Now that's specific. That's possible. That's terrifying. 04/05 | tfln | Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances... 04/07 | gen texts | Hey can we talk? 04/12 | tfln | Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza 04/14 | gen texts | and also surprising, cause I didn't know you were married? 04/16 | sexting meme | Because there is a certain someone tied up on your bed right now 04/21 | IC confessions meme | I want to talk. About... about my feelings. For you. 04/21 | claiming meme | She has no road map for the way forward from here. 04/23 | sexting meme | Babe are you free tonight? 04/28 | gen texts | Hey how's my girlfriend doing today? 05/03 | tfln | bad news: got stabbed. good news: hot nurse. the universe is in balance. 05/03 | tfln | Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me 05/05 | gen texts | [If you didn't want her to cyber-stalk spiderman, you shouldn't have a) told her and b) started dating her.] [img.] 05/07 | sexting meme | Basically do you want to fuck in space? 05/10 | tfln | Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion. 05/10 | tfln | As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a Spider-Man, I have to tell you to not do that again. 05/17 | tfln | I accidentally joined a cult 05/19 | midnight texts | hello my name is boyfriend material 05/19 | midnight texts | I AM JUST STAYING IN YOUR CLOSET AND NEVER COMING OUT BECAUSE I AM JUST GOING TO DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT IN HERE AFTER YOUR SISTER SAW THAT 05/31 | tfln | Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the house. It'll be like a scavenger hunt! 06/02 | gen texts | You could have told me you know 06/07 | tfln | Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for? 06/14 | tfln | GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS 06/16 | midnight texts | So what are you up to? 06/16 | midnight texts | do you still want to try and teach me how to cook? 06/22 | tfln | I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life 06/23 | gen texts | what if I became a storm chaser?